The Truth About "Fitting-In Fashion"

As promised, this blog is a “Reveal to Heal” container, and I want to illuminate the self-abandonment shadow. I know, I know… it is only Tuesday and you probably prefer something a bit lighter but, in order to be fully expressed, sometimes we have to go deep. 

My intention is to reveal behaviors and limiting beliefs that are holding you back so you can step into your power, and today we are going to focus on self-abandonment, how you might be playing a role in your own disempowerment, and what you can do about it.

“Oftentimes, as women, we don’t listen to our intuition because the motivation to fit into a certain mold and get certain results feels like a more protected choice. Blending into the pack makes us less vulnerable to judgment or shame and gives us a false sense of belonging” - INTUITIVE STYLE MAVEN™

Over the 12+ years that I have been styling women, “Fitting-in Fashion” has become an epidemic. The advent of instagram has been both a blessing and a curse, with broader access to style inspiration and unique looks saddled by a resulting homogeneity among certain groups of women that feels uninspired and almost cult-like.

In practice, NYC school drop-off is a pocket of pressure where my clients often express a need for strategies to keep them safe in that social stratosphere. The desire to be accepted is REAL, and can have even the most self-assured fashionista questioning her worth.

The default approach - blending into the pack  - hinders authentic self-expression and puts limitations on you from both a visual and energetic standpoint. A bid for connection that you know will be well received - especially if it is at the expense of your authenticity - is a short term solution at best, and ultimately creates far more complex long-term challenges and insecurities.

Becoming a curious observer of your behaviors will help you to illuminate your shadow and harness your healing. This is a judgment-free zone, where you embrace your shadow and claim radical responsibility for your personal growth. 

Subconscious disempowerment of self is often driven by the fear of visibility and a belief that you are not worthy or lovable. 

The first step in healing is awareness, and the second step in healing is setting an intention to shift the narrative or behavior. So ask yourself:

How am I playing a role in my own disempowerment?

Where am I out of integrity with my soul’s desires?

Where am I succumbing to societal pressures?

Where am I silencing myself?

Let your answers sink in. 

AND then…

Set an intention to shift the behavior. I recommend a slow and steady process to keep your nervous system regulated. Like in the movie “What about Bob”. Baby steps down the hallway, baby steps to the door, baby steps toward self-actualization. 

If it feels accessible, start with small actions and build from there. Maybe it is speaking up for yourself when your coffee isn’t right, declining an invitation to an event that doesn’t feel expansive, or wearing something that feels soul-aligned. ALLOW your inner wisdom to guide you on your path. This is a daily practice, and the more you listen, the clearer the messages will get.

As always, I am here for support if you have any questions.

Xx

Ali